If granddaughters love tea parties, what do grandsons love? Why, secret codes. That’s what! Writing secret messages to your grandson could be great fun. And a great challenge — especially deciphering the message.

Before you write your message, you need to determine how you are going to code it. There are several ways for doing this.

Backwards Code. One way to write a secret message is to spell the words backwards. For example, if you wanted to write ‘you are smart’ your message would be ‘uoy era trams.’

Number Code. Write the alphabet out. Select one letter other than A to be your first letter in your code. Then continue numbering the rest of the alphabet. Here’s an example where M is the first letter:

Now, write out a message. Locate the letter in the alphabet and write the corresponding number underneath it. This is what the code would look like for the message ‘come over for supper.”

If you fear that your code has been broken by unscrupulous characters (your grandson’s siblings), merely change the letter that is your number one letter and once again you can easily use that coding method.

Thunk.com. This is a fun secret message coder/decoder web site. Just type your message in the box provided on the site and click on the scramble button. Then, copy the message from the box into your e-mail or word processor. Your grandson would then copy the secret message from your e-mail, paste it into the box on the thunk.com web site, then click the unscramble button. Your secret message to your grandson will then be decoded for him.

Secret Code Wheel. This is similar to the number code. Print out the secret code wheels provided here for you. Cut out the two wheels. Place the smaller wheel on top of the larger wheel. Push a brad fastener in the middle to hold the two wheels together. Determine which letter you want to be the ‘A’ letter in your code. Turn the small inner wheel until the A on the smaller circle is beneath the desired letter on the bigger circle. In this example, the letter ‘G’ is now an ‘A.’ (The code is written out straight here instead of being in a circle like on your coded wheel.)

Carefully hold the wheels in place and then write out your message. For example, if you wanted to write the message “you are smart,” this is what your code would look like with G as your A:

If your grandson lives far away, e-mail him and explain which type of secret code you will be using. Include a copy of the secret code wheel, too, if you would like. Then, type your next message in coded form. Follow up to make sure he was able to decode it. Then, have him write back to you with a coded message.

A fun variation is to make paper that looks like an ancient scroll with a secret message. For this activity you will need newspaper, white 8.5 x 11 inch paper, inexpensive washable watercolor paint, an inexpensive watercolor painting brush (both from your local dollar store). You can make the paper together as a fun activity or you can make some and then send a few sheets to your grandson for his secret messages.

Cover your work space with newspapers. Tightly crumple up a piece of white paper that is 8.5 inches by 11 inches. Then, press it out flat on the newspaper. Lightly paint brown watercolor paint over the crumpled sheet of paper. Don’t get it too dark or it will be difficult to read your secret message. Set the paper aside to dry.

When it is dry, write out your secret message. Roll up the paper and tie a string around it. Give your scroll to your grandson for him to decipher.

Digi-Gram

Over the Memorial Day Week-End, our family went Jeeping in Moab, Utah. One day after coming in off the trail, we browsed in the shops for t-shirts (a must-have for our kids . . . ). One store had a plethora of delightful teapots — Garfield teapots, toad teapots, elephant teapots, ladybug teapots, rooster teapots, Victorian looking teapots, and much more. (Click on the Garfield picture to the left to see a larger picture.)

I stood there for over 15 minutes admiring, debating, gazing, enjoying. I walked away. I went back to the display.  I walked away.

Our daughter’s-in-law mother, Karen, has had tea parties with her granddaughters. I think that sounds like such great fun that I want to do with my grandchildren. So far, my grandchildren consists of a three-month old grandson. He can’t quite hold a teacup just yet . . . Do you think a grandson would enjoy a tea party with his grandmother? Probably not. That is why I left the store empty handed.

Through the years, Karen has had tea parties for her daughter and for her granddaughters. Last year she had one for her granddaughter and 21 of her granddaughter’s closest friends. Twenty-one CLOSEST friends?? I’m lucky to have 2-3 close friends . . .

Here are some of the things Karen has done at her tea parties.

Karen made a sheet cake and then used cookie cutters to cut out different little cake shapes. She froze the tiny cake shapes to make it easier to frost. She melted frosting (the kind that you get in plastic tubs at the grocery store) and poured it over the little cakes. This formed a thin layer of icing. As the frosting cooled, it also became firm and wasn’t gooey soft. She added decorations like cake glitter to make them fancy.

She has also served small grapes and home made trail mix of M&M candies, Pepperidge Farm Gold Fish, and raisins. She put the trail mix in small little nut cups. Once, she had found an inexpensive piñata that she turned into a Cheshire cat. She served different types of juice in tiny paper cups (instead of tea cups for the little guests).

She has had other tea parties besides this recent one. If the tea party was in the winter, she served hot cocoa. Sometimes the tea party would be as simple as spreading a lace table cloth over an ottoman and serving juice and tiny cakes and sandwiches (cut with cookie cutters) or tiny pies. Karen has used a butterfly cookie cutter to cut out sandwich shapes. Sometimes the sandwiches had sandwich meat in them and sometimes they were just peanut butter and jam sandwiches. Sometimes she made Jell-O jigglers to go along with the sandwiches.

Karen said that she shops around at thrift stores for different tea pots and cups so that she can have them on hand. She has different colored pots for different colored juices (apple, orange, grape, etc.).

Other tea party activities have included watching the video of Alice in Wonderland, decorating hats with ribbons and flowers, and playing croquet with pink flamingo mallets. She has drawn a picture of the Cheshire cat and they have pinned the grin (or nose) on the cat. She has drawn Alice in Wonderland characters as yard decorations that pointed the way to the party in the back yard. One time, Karen found inexpensive Alice in Wonderland velvet pictures for the kids to paint. (She said that you could just print out the figures on paper for them to paint, too.)

Karen is very talented and creative — and a very fun grandmother! I hope her ideas of a tea party will be something that you can do with your grandchildren.

If you have had tea parties for your granddaughters (or daughters), please share your ideas of what you have done!

Have a fun tea party!
Digi-Gram

I got a lovely letter from JoAnne, from Mission Viejo California, sharing what she does with her toddler grandson. JoAnne writes:

“First, I am fortunate enough to have a very good relationship with my daughter. Maintaining that is very important. I also have to be aware of my daughter’s spouse and not step on anyone’s toes. Before the baby was born, I came to visit them. At the time I lived out of state but now I live 40 minutes away. Anyway, I spent the week complementing them on the work they did in the nursery, how beautiful my daughter looked pregnant, and my giddy joy at becoming a grandma. I made that visit without my husband, which gave us some precious mother-daughter time.

I try to remember what I would have liked to hear when I was pregnant and a new mom. I expressed confidence in my daughter’s ability to be a great mom. I bought the nursery set as a gift to my new grandson, but I carefully stepped back and let the parents decide the style and finish. When they asked for my opinion, I steered them to a more expensive set that had features that I thought they would appreciate later. But I only give an opinion when I am asked. I think that my most importate role as a grandma is to provide unconditional love to my grandchild and to his parents.

“Here are some of the things we do now with our 22 month old little boy. Kaden is a typical busy toddler, so he is happiest when we explore the world in a physical way. Trips to various neighborhood parks are a staple. Grandma brings something to dig with and a dump truck or a bucket along with a healthy snack.

“When we are there, I play repetitive games with him. He never tires of going down a slide when I am waiting at the bottom with applause and encouragement. He is a little afraid of swings at this time, so I ask him if he wants to go on the swings after he has had time to play with other equipment for a while. If he says no, I drop it. If he says yes, I ask him if he wants me to push him. If he says yes, I am careful to watch his reaction and push him very gently. I want him to know that it is safe to try new things when he is with me.

“My daughter lives near Long Beach, CA and there is a wonderful aquarium there. It is one of Kaden’s most favorite places, so my husband and I bought annual passes so that we can go anytime, even if it is just for an hour. He loves going to the zoo, so we bring a picnic lunch and go at a very slow pace.

“Another thing that he loves is going for walks around his neighborhood. We stop to touch and smell everything he encounters like leaves and parked cars. We also visit briefly with everyone we meet on our walks. I have learned to be prepared for these walks by taking his stroller or a little car that pushes like a stroller. He either pushes it or walks with me when I push it, but about half of the time he is tired at the farthest point of our walk. I put him in the stroller or car and make a game of racing him home or flying him home. I make the sound effects and narration and he laughs.

“I babysit him one evening and one day a week. The evening gives his parents a “date night” and I get to give him his bath, read him his “night-night story” and cuddle him. He is asleep by 7 pm. The following day I keep him out of day care and we have a play day. At least part of the day we are outside, and I am on the floor with him the rest of the day. I love it, and Kaden knows me and associates fun things with my being with him.”

There were two things that JoAnne mentioned that really impressed me. The first was how she complimented her son-in-law and her daughter. There isn’t any better way to strengthen a relationship than by praising family members on what they are doing well. The other thing was that she expressed confidence in her daughter’s ability to be a great mother. What comfort that can be to a prospective mother — in fact to ANY mother at any stage!

Thanks for sharing, JoAnne!
Digi-Gram

Tucked away in a corner of one of my closets, is a time capsule that our family will open in 2010. I can’t wait!

We created it in 2000 - the beginning of a new century and a new millennium. This is the second one we’ve done. It was great fun to see the things that we put in the first one — especially the pictures. My, how we had changed over time! What on earth ever made me decide to have THAT hair do???

Creating a time capsule with a grandchild is a fun activity. Get a sturdy box — preferably cardboard so it is not see through. Invite your grandchild or grandchildren over to select and create items to go inside the box.

Depending on the age of your grandchild, you would have her put in things that are age appropriate or currently meaningful to her. Here is a list of possible ideas of things that could be included:

You might also want to include:

• picture of the sports team she is on or the dance or gymnastics group she is in
• a copy of the newspaper
• a list of important current events — locally, nationally, or in the world
• a list of her current cousins
• the name of her boy friend (if she has one)
• the title of her favorite book — and yours
• a description of her/your favorite food
• an explanation of her/your favorite color
• an explanation of a funny experience
• a description of a favorite toy
• a sample of her school work or her penmanship
• the name of a popular movie or her/your favorite movie

You can include silly things. Important things. Items of interest. Whatever strikes your fancy. Be creative. The more creative, the more enjoyment when the capsule is opened.

Gather all of the items and place them in the box. Seal the box with wide strapping tape so that no one will be tempted to open it to take a peek.

You need to determine when you want to open the capsule. The younger the child, the shorter the time span should be. For someone who is under six years old, one or two years might be good. Five years at the most. If you have a late elementary school aged or older grandchild, opening the time capsule in five to ten years would work.

On a piece of paper, write the date the capsule was created and indicate when it should be opened. Tape this paper to the box. You might want to decorate the outside of the box. Then, put it in a spot where it can safely remain until the time to open it.

Don’t put it in a place where it will be totally forgotten! Make sure it will be in a spot that you will see occasionally so that you won’t forget about it.

Somewhere in time,
Digi-Gram