I got a lovely letter from JoAnne, from Mission Viejo California, sharing what she does with her toddler grandson. JoAnne writes:

“First, I am fortunate enough to have a very good relationship with my daughter. Maintaining that is very important. I also have to be aware of my daughter’s spouse and not step on anyone’s toes. Before the baby was born, I came to visit them. At the time I lived out of state but now I live 40 minutes away. Anyway, I spent the week complementing them on the work they did in the nursery, how beautiful my daughter looked pregnant, and my giddy joy at becoming a grandma. I made that visit without my husband, which gave us some precious mother-daughter time.

I try to remember what I would have liked to hear when I was pregnant and a new mom. I expressed confidence in my daughter’s ability to be a great mom. I bought the nursery set as a gift to my new grandson, but I carefully stepped back and let the parents decide the style and finish. When they asked for my opinion, I steered them to a more expensive set that had features that I thought they would appreciate later. But I only give an opinion when I am asked. I think that my most importate role as a grandma is to provide unconditional love to my grandchild and to his parents.

“Here are some of the things we do now with our 22 month old little boy. Kaden is a typical busy toddler, so he is happiest when we explore the world in a physical way. Trips to various neighborhood parks are a staple. Grandma brings something to dig with and a dump truck or a bucket along with a healthy snack.

“When we are there, I play repetitive games with him. He never tires of going down a slide when I am waiting at the bottom with applause and encouragement. He is a little afraid of swings at this time, so I ask him if he wants to go on the swings after he has had time to play with other equipment for a while. If he says no, I drop it. If he says yes, I ask him if he wants me to push him. If he says yes, I am careful to watch his reaction and push him very gently. I want him to know that it is safe to try new things when he is with me.

“My daughter lives near Long Beach, CA and there is a wonderful aquarium there. It is one of Kaden’s most favorite places, so my husband and I bought annual passes so that we can go anytime, even if it is just for an hour. He loves going to the zoo, so we bring a picnic lunch and go at a very slow pace.

“Another thing that he loves is going for walks around his neighborhood. We stop to touch and smell everything he encounters like leaves and parked cars. We also visit briefly with everyone we meet on our walks. I have learned to be prepared for these walks by taking his stroller or a little car that pushes like a stroller. He either pushes it or walks with me when I push it, but about half of the time he is tired at the farthest point of our walk. I put him in the stroller or car and make a game of racing him home or flying him home. I make the sound effects and narration and he laughs.

“I babysit him one evening and one day a week. The evening gives his parents a “date night” and I get to give him his bath, read him his “night-night story” and cuddle him. He is asleep by 7 pm. The following day I keep him out of day care and we have a play day. At least part of the day we are outside, and I am on the floor with him the rest of the day. I love it, and Kaden knows me and associates fun things with my being with him.”

There were two things that JoAnne mentioned that really impressed me. The first was how she complimented her son-in-law and her daughter. There isn’t any better way to strengthen a relationship than by praising family members on what they are doing well. The other thing was that she expressed confidence in her daughter’s ability to be a great mother. What comfort that can be to a prospective mother — in fact to ANY mother at any stage!

Thanks for sharing, JoAnne!
Digi-Gram

I used to work as a computer lab supervisor at a local high school. (That’s where my love for technology started!) A friend and coworker from that job wrote me and shared some of the fun things that she has done with her grandchildren. Roxann wrote:

“I have done several things but I think the main thing is that grandchildren just like to feel special.

“We make cookies. But sometimes we made something different. Kenzie likes to make bread and knead it.

“Gabe likes to have a date with just the two of us. We do a movie and dinner about once a year.

“Porter likes me to allow him to bring a friend when we have a date.

“I have the kids pick dandelions in the spring. They bring them in to me and I put them on the stove and make dandelion pie.

“After they have stirred the dandelions and sugar for awhile, they leave and I replace it with lemon pudding and make lemon meringue pie.

“I also have pajamas and tooth brushes for each of them at my house. That way they can spend the night at a moments notice.

“We do puzzles and finger painting.

“We just barely made a snow fort in the back yard.

“I don’t do anything spectacular but we have fun. I have taken the kids to Disneyland and to the circus, but they never talk about those activities.”

Dandelion pie.What a fabulous idea!! My husband and I have two acres of land. At times during the summer, there is a carpet of yellow from all of the dandelions we have. I wonder how long our grandchildren’s attention span would last when picking our dandelions. I just might have to make a lot of lemon meringue pies on lots of different days!

Bon appetit!
Digi-Gram

Why can’t grandchildren live nearby so that you could easily drop by, snuggle them, kiss them, hug them, and then be on your way? It would be so nice . . . .

Cheryl, from Connecticut, wrote and shared how she stays close with her grandchildren who live far from her. Cheryl writes:

“All of my 6 grandchildren, under the age of 4, live out of state, 5 of them across the country. We have had to become well acquainted with the local postmaster!! I have asked and researched many ideas so I can be the kind of grandmother to them that I would be if they lived across the street.

“First, I agree with the idea that the webcam can be a life savor. The cost of the camera is minimal, the download for the program is free, and the calls are free. We talk to the boys every night, read stories, and sing songs. We see them in their Halloween costumes before they trick or treat, and see them on other similar big events. They hold up their work from school for us to see. And, for the babies there is no longer stranger anxiety when they do see us because they see us all the time on the computer and hear our voices. A webcam is a must for long distance relationships.

“Also, I try to send packages once a month. Flat rate is the best deal. I put pictures that they might like on the outside and tape over them to hold them on. They can’t wait to get the mail which is sometimes just a letter with a picture of Superman. But it makes them happy. I make family games with our pictures and send the game to our grandchildren. We also have a camp in the summer and bring the oldest boys, age 3 and up, to our home for 2 weeks to spend time with us.

“I think when something is important to you, you find ways to make it work for you. I do know that creating a good relationship with grandchildren who do not live nearby can be accomplished if you really try. The only thing missing is the physical contact of the hugs. They do try to kiss the computer but it’s just not the same!!!!! Good luck and enjoy every moment of being a grandmother. It’s wonderful!!!!”

Aren’t these great ideas? My original thoughts about using a webcam were just to say hello and to chat. Using on Halloween, birthdays, Easter, Valentine’s Day, first day of school, after they’ve won a soccer game or built a snowman — basically ANY time — could be a great time to log on to say hi. Thank you Cheryl, for sharing your ideas.

If anybody else has different ideas on ways to strengthen relationships with grandchildren who live far away, feel free to share them here.  We need your ideas!!

Happy connecting!
The Digi-Gram

I asked a friend of mine, who teaches high school, to share some of the things that she does with her grandchildren. (We share the same birthday but were born in different years. She’s the younger one . . . sigh . . .) Priscilla writes:

“Trust me, I am not a particularly fun grandmother. (Editorial note: WRONG!) My grandchildren do think their grandfather is a terrific playmate, but I am mostly the one who settles disputes, answers difficult questions and lets them draw on my board at school when they surprise me here.

“I will suggest I try to give each grandchild a special day and activity so they can have one on one time. Last year I took the youngest to Build a Bear workshop and lunch. I took my granddaughter, the oldest, to tea at the Grand America and the middle one went boating with us one afternoon. I have also taken them to Christmas plays and the Halloween concert the Symphony puts on. They really love eating cookies in grandma and grandpa’s bed with their grandpa because they know their grandma doesn’t allow food anywhere but the kitchen. And I have a set of BINGO cards from the Internet for various holidays like Halloween, Valentine’s Day etc. They think that’s fun to play.

“Actually the most fun is simple stuff like bubble baths, chocolate milk and trips to the Purple Turtle drive-in (in Pleasant Grove, Utah). The best thing about grandchildren is that they love you unconditionally and just being with you is fun, and vice-versa. If only one could bypass children and go directly to grandchildren.”

I love the things that she mentioned. Halloween at the symphony? Most interesting! I think she points out a timeless principle: it’s the simple stuff that builds bonding relationships between grandparents and grandchildren. It’s the love and acceptance that grandchildren feel.

If you are interested in themed Bingo sheets, DLTK’s Custom Bingo Cards is a great site that allows you to custom build your Bingo playing cards. You can select how many spaces (3 x 3, 4 x 4, 5 x 5), if you want pictures or numbers, and different themes. Themes included are Pokymon, Veggie Tales, spring, summer, autumn, winter, ABCs, animals, Valentine’s Day, Thanksgiving, and Halloween just to name a few. (Be sure to print out the call out sheet.) The site also has the ability to create a blank Bingo card so you print blank Bingo cards and then put on your own pictures.

So, here’s a great idea for a grandma kit.* Print up several blank Bingo cards and one for the call out sheet. Purchase stickers and put them in the squares. Laminate the cards. At a local dollar store, find small items for markers. Put the markers and the cards in a Ziplock bag.

When your grandchildren come for a visit, pull out this grandma kit for something fun to do. If your grandchildren don’t live close by, mail them the kit.

It would also be fun to put pictures of grandma and grandpa and other family members on the squares. (Hey! This would be a fun activity for a family reunion!)

Viola! You are ready for some Bingo fun with your grandchildren!
Digi-Gram

*grandma kit — activity items that will fit in a gallon sized Ziplock bag, cloth bag, box, manila envelope. These kits are stored until grandchildren come for a visit and are pulled out to be played with –or sent to grandchildren who live far away.