The other day, I watched a video by a young mother who was quite incensed about the condition that her children came home in after spending time with grandma.  She was vehemently angry.

I was rather taken back by her anger.

She was upset because her mother and father fed her two daughters candy and soda pop when the granddaughters came for a visit.  The grandparents didn’t put the granddaughters down for a nap.  Nor did they put them down at their regular bed time.

The mother complained how she had to ‘detox’ her daughters every time they came home from grandma’s house.

The video cut away to show a little girl about two-years-old wallowing on the floor, whining.  The mother said this was how her daughter acted after spending time at grandma’s house.

Then it showed another girl about four-years-old.  The mother asked the little girl what she ate at grandma’s house.  The little girl replied, “Candy.”  Then, the mother said, “And what about soda pop?  Does grandma let you drink that?”  To which the little girl replied, “Yes.”  Somehow, it came off as if the mother had prepped the little girl in what to say.

The video ended with the mother weakly saying that she did appreciate that her parents spent time with her children.  Really, she did.  And that it was so nice that the grandparents and grandchildren were developing a relationship.  But after all of the strong venting at the beginning, the I-really-appreciate-my-parents at the end came off extremely week.  Extremely.

I’ve been pondering this video for a couple of days now and have decided to write about it here.  I’d like to give advice to all my grandmother readers so that their grandchildren won’t have to be detoxed when they go home.

Advice #1:  Limit the amount of sugary treats and foods that you give to your grandchildren.  You probably didn’t give tons to your children.  Follow the same common sense with your grandchildren!

I know that grandmas often feel compelled to give grandchildren cookies, candy, cakes, and other sugar-laden edibles.  Just keep in mind: moderation in all things.  A little bit of sugar goes a long way.  I’m not against treats.  Just gobs and gobs and gobs and gobs and gobs of it.  (Well for grandchildren, anyway.  Tons for me are just fine . . . )

Advice #2:  When at all possible, make sure that grandchildren get their naps.  Put them to bed at their regular bedtimes.  Children who don’t get enough sleep are cranky.  Grandmas who don’t get enough sleep are cranky.

Advice #3:  YOU are the one who is in control.  YOU are the adult.  Don’t be buffaloed by your innocently smiling grandson who says that ‘mommy lets me smear peanut butter all over the brand new carpet in the living room.’  Come on.   Use common sense.

If you didn’t let your children swing from the chandelier, I’m sure you don’t want your grandchildren doing it either.  While you don’t want to be such a stick in the mud that grandchildren can’t do anything in your home, you don’t have to let them wreck it either.  They need to learn things such as running is an outside activity — and not in your home; wiping the mud off their feet on the outdoor mat is what they do  — and not tracking it in mindlessly all over the place.  Things like that.

Advice #4:  Talk to your children and their spouses.  Find out their feelings on different issues.  (Hopefully it can be a calm, adult conversation.)  That way, you can come to an agreement on issues such as these.  And hopefully that will negate your child from posting an angry video about you for the whole world to see.

You know, I wondered just why that daughter felt so compelled to rant so very publicly about her feelings.  I wondered why she just didn’t talk to her mother . . .

When you have the discussion, do it with gentleness and love and without any criticism on anybody’s part.  After all, parents and grandparents love those little rug rats.  And they both want what’s best for them.

Grandparents just need to use common sense . . .

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