I got a lovely letter from JoAnne, from Mission Viejo California, sharing what she does with her toddler grandson. JoAnne writes:

“First, I am fortunate enough to have a very good relationship with my daughter. Maintaining that is very important. I also have to be aware of my daughter’s spouse and not step on anyone’s toes. Before the baby was born, I came to visit them. At the time I lived out of state but now I live 40 minutes away. Anyway, I spent the week complementing them on the work they did in the nursery, how beautiful my daughter looked pregnant, and my giddy joy at becoming a grandma. I made that visit without my husband, which gave us some precious mother-daughter time.

I try to remember what I would have liked to hear when I was pregnant and a new mom. I expressed confidence in my daughter’s ability to be a great mom. I bought the nursery set as a gift to my new grandson, but I carefully stepped back and let the parents decide the style and finish. When they asked for my opinion, I steered them to a more expensive set that had features that I thought they would appreciate later. But I only give an opinion when I am asked. I think that my most importate role as a grandma is to provide unconditional love to my grandchild and to his parents.

“Here are some of the things we do now with our 22 month old little boy. Kaden is a typical busy toddler, so he is happiest when we explore the world in a physical way. Trips to various neighborhood parks are a staple. Grandma brings something to dig with and a dump truck or a bucket along with a healthy snack.

“When we are there, I play repetitive games with him. He never tires of going down a slide when I am waiting at the bottom with applause and encouragement. He is a little afraid of swings at this time, so I ask him if he wants to go on the swings after he has had time to play with other equipment for a while. If he says no, I drop it. If he says yes, I ask him if he wants me to push him. If he says yes, I am careful to watch his reaction and push him very gently. I want him to know that it is safe to try new things when he is with me.

“My daughter lives near Long Beach, CA and there is a wonderful aquarium there. It is one of Kaden’s most favorite places, so my husband and I bought annual passes so that we can go anytime, even if it is just for an hour. He loves going to the zoo, so we bring a picnic lunch and go at a very slow pace.

“Another thing that he loves is going for walks around his neighborhood. We stop to touch and smell everything he encounters like leaves and parked cars. We also visit briefly with everyone we meet on our walks. I have learned to be prepared for these walks by taking his stroller or a little car that pushes like a stroller. He either pushes it or walks with me when I push it, but about half of the time he is tired at the farthest point of our walk. I put him in the stroller or car and make a game of racing him home or flying him home. I make the sound effects and narration and he laughs.

“I babysit him one evening and one day a week. The evening gives his parents a “date night” and I get to give him his bath, read him his “night-night story” and cuddle him. He is asleep by 7 pm. The following day I keep him out of day care and we have a play day. At least part of the day we are outside, and I am on the floor with him the rest of the day. I love it, and Kaden knows me and associates fun things with my being with him.”

There were two things that JoAnne mentioned that really impressed me. The first was how she complimented her son-in-law and her daughter. There isn’t any better way to strengthen a relationship than by praising family members on what they are doing well. The other thing was that she expressed confidence in her daughter’s ability to be a great mother. What comfort that can be to a prospective mother — in fact to ANY mother at any stage!

Thanks for sharing, JoAnne!
Digi-Gram

Related posts:

1. A Reader Shares Her Thoughts Diane W. from Irvine, California wrote the following about...
2. Grandma Gay Shares Her Ideas I have a remarkable neighbor, Gay. Gay is always...
3. Grandma Darlene Shares Ideas Darlene T. from Salem, Utah, wrote to me to...
4. The Clothespin Activity It’s fun to go to baby showers to ooh...
5. Thoughts from Grandma Kay Grandma Kay was our neighbor over 20 years ago....

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.