Marc Prensky is an American writer and speaker on learning and education. In 2001, he wrote the article “Digital Natives, Digital Immigrants.” I am a digital immigrant — meaning that I was not born in a digital world but have come to embrace technology. (See my husband roll his eyes and murmur something about that being the biggest understatement of the century . . .)
A digital native is someone who does not know life without technology. It has been ever present to in their life. They are a ‘native speaker’ of the digital language.
Your grandchildren are digital natives. Technology is a part of their lives — probably a huge part of it. The use of that technology impacts family life — for good or ill — depending on how the parents manage it.
The book iRules by Janell Burley Hofmann is an excellent, excellent book that helps parents develop a collection of rules about technology use in families.
I can hear you saying about now, “Sheesh, Nina! My kids are all raised. I don’t need a parenting book about technology.“
Well, don’t get your knickers in a twist. I know. I hear you. My kids have flown the nest, too.
However, my kids (and probably your kids, too) have little families with sweet little ones that, before you know it, will be pestering their parents for a smartphone. If our children and their spouses think about and talk about technology use NOW, they’ll be ready when that day arrives.
I am so impressed with this book. So impressed, in fact, that I’m going to give a copy to each of my kids. I highly recommend that you do the same thing for your kids, too. Or at the very least, tell your kids about the book and STRONGLY insist that they read it. (Although having their own copy would be the best because they could refer back to it often.)
Why do I like the book so much? Boy, I thought that you would never ask.
First, it helps parents think about technology, how it impacts their family, how they WANT it to impact their family. It guides parents’ thoughts about the rules of the use of technology both in and out of their home and ultimately helps them consider the parenting style that they have. That’s a heap o’ thinking for parents!
She shares the iRules that her family has and explains them. This helps parents to decide whether or not that is a rule they want for their own family. Parents are guided step-by-step in making their own rules that will cover every situation that might come up with technology and it’s use and misuse.
And, I like it because the way it is written sounds like you’re sitting at the kitchen table sipping hot chocolate and eating cinnamon rolls (one of my favorite activities) and having a little chat. The writing is not dry and boring. Far from it!
Let me pause here to give you a little back story. Mrs. Hofmann writes about parenting and technology for The Huffington Post. When she and her husband gave their oldest son an iPhone for Christmas, they also drew up a list of iRules.
Mrs. Hofmann shared the rules with her editor who added it to Hofmann’s page on their site. Within an hour, someone tweets about it. It went viral. Within 24 hours, a crew from Good Morning America was in Hofmann’s kitchen doing an interview with her. And ultimately, she wrote iRules to share her experience and tech rules with the world.
And I’m glad she did!
Here are just a few jewels from her book:
- I will always know your passwords. As parents, we do have the right to access our children’s online world . . . Treat your child’s password like you would a bedroom door — you may knock before entering, but you would never allow them to lock you out indefinitely.
- Having an iPhone is a privilege, not a right. Just as we wouldn’t give our teens the keys to the car without driving lessons, we shouldn’t give our teens technology without rules.
- You are not a rude person. Do not allow the iPhone to change that. (And then she talks about phone etiquette.)
- No porn.
- Do not send or receive pictures of your private parts or of anyone else’s private parts.
- Live in the present. We don’t need to eliminate technology. We just don’t need to be ruled by it. Live fully.
- I am on your team. We are in this together. Make sure your children know that they can come to you no matter the circumstances.
IRules costs only $14 on Amazon. What a bargain.
(Phew! This is turning into quite the long epistle!)
I recommend that you give this book to all of your children and their families. I HIGHLY recommend it. I really, really, really, really, really recommend it. It’s the best book ever for helping parents teach and guide their children about proper technology use.
Now, pardon me as I slip over to Amazon.com to place an order for my kids . . .
Disclaimer: I was given a free copy of this book to review. It did not influence my opinion in any way.
