(Note: I was given a copy of this book to review but all opinions are my own.)
About 10 years ago, a woman confided in me that she was very worried about her upcoming retirement. She had been a high school biology teacher for YEARS. That was who she was. That was her total identity. If she wasn’t a biology teacher, then who was she?
I think that feeling is common for many people. Their identity is so tied to their job that they flounder once they retire.
Richard J. Leider and Daivd A. Shapiro help people resolve that dilemma in their book Who Do You Want to Be When You Grow Old? The Path of Purposeful Aging.
To me, the key word — and the whole key of the book — is ‘purposeful.’
That biology teacher was very ‘purposeful’ in her path to become a teacher: which college to attend, which classes to take, where to apply to teach. She made intentional decisions that helped her become a teacher.
But when people retire, there isn’t a set roadmap to follow in this new phase of life. It’s hard to make intentional decisions when you’re not sure where you’re going or what you want to do with the rest of your life. That’s where where this book can help.
The authors emphasize that aging on purpose is a journey and not a destination. I like that! A journey connotes going places, seeing and doing new things, having a grand adventure. And that also means making intentional decisions, making conscious choices.
Sometimes in our ‘elderhood,’ it is easy to just drift along, to take each day as it comes. But more often than not, this aimless living is a surefire recipe for dissatisfaction and unhappiness.
Each chapter in this book poses questions to help the reader make intentional decisions. Here are just a few. I think they are excellent and very beneficial!
What are my values, my passions? How can I use them to contribute to society? How can I share them with others? In what ways can I improve the lives of others? How can I be a positive impact on those around me? How can I make a difference? Where and how can I serve? Who can I mentor? How can I grow? How can I give? Why do I get up in the morning?
One special nugget in the book that jumped out to me was about the Harvard Study of Adult Development. That study found that close relationships play a big role in happiness throughout life. So a good takeaway is to review your relationships and see how you can strengthen them. (Strengthening family relationships is my whole purpose for this site!)
Of course everybody’s situation is different. They have different talents, passions, desires. One shoe does not fit all! It’s all about being authentic to who you are.
And that’s the beauty of it. You don’t have to do or be something because of society’s expectations. You can be true to yourself and be your real self.
So. For those of us in our golden years (and really, everybody), don’t just settle for the way things are. Do more than just living each day as it comes. Make intentional choices. Be purposeful. That way you can be who you want to be when you grow old.
You can get Who Do You Want to Be When You Grow Old? The Path of Purposeful Aging on Amazon for $16.99.
